tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31745699767350118712023-11-16T01:05:39.219-05:00Gleaning Joyjustbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-44653993874884353862013-11-06T13:05:00.002-05:002013-11-06T13:05:53.712-05:00"Isn't it hard enough?" or Why I Think We Shouldn't Judge One Another as Parents,Part 1<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Parenting is hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And it just keeps getting harder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(I’m learning that is the way with most things in life.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have 4, soon to be 5 children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the process of raising them, we have had
to make some tough decisions and had to have some tough conversations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve made
mistakes, we’ve tried to follow the Spirit, and mostly we’ve just worked every
day to let our children know they are loved.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
</o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last Spring, we went through a tough parenting period with
the decision of where to send our son to middle school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We live in a very diverse school district
with a lot of school choice options.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
was an interesting experience for me to talk with other parents who were
simultaneously engaged in the school selection process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I enjoyed sharing perspectives and ideas, but
I also found that some parents felt strongly that they needed to offer some
corrective advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were also those
that felt they had to fiercely justify their school decision because we were choosing
a different path. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The process made me reflect on why we are critical of one
another as parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously, isn’t it
hard enough?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that as a new
parent, I was quick to make assessments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The words, “I’m never going to do that with my kids”, may have been uttered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I was also quick to offer my newly
found parenting wisdom and advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
those years are LONG gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have grown
a lot as a parent over the past 12 years and along the way I have learned some
valuable lessons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The combined take-home
message from those lessons is that we really shouldn’t judge one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We should love, support, laugh, listen, pray
for, and cry with one another…and recognize that we all are doing our best to
help our children become the best they can be. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to share just a few of the lessons I’ve learned and
the reasons I think we should all show some charity and cut one another a
little slack as parents.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lesson
#1:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are different people.<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
Would you raise my children differently than I do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Absolutely!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You are a different person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve
learned this lesson so many times over in 12 years that it is almost
laughable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think most of us go through
the stage early in our parenting when we read a lot of books, imitate parents
around us, and take a lot of advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
the end, we learn that what works for us is what mostly aligns with who we are
innately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am my best as a parent when
I am being my best self.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am
taking advantage of my personality, talents, passions, and strengths, parenting
is more workable, enjoyable, and successful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve been given some incredible advice from some incredible parents that
completely bombed in our home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just wasn’t me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember just after baby #4 was born, I had two women in
my family call to offer some reassurance and support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These two women are some of the most
phenomenal mothers I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are
creative, patient, and accepting in ways I can only hope to someday
attain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both of them talked about
pairing down life… “Don’t worry about routine.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Don’t bother taking your other kids to school/preschool.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Just make sure everyone gets fed.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, it was the opposite of what I needed
to do for who I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I needed a return to
routine and normalcy to get back on my feet physically and emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was their advice bad?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would
it work for me as a mother?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Absolutely
not. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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As I have gotten older and more secure in my “me-ness”, I’ve
really enjoyed seeing how my friend’s personalities flavor their
parenting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love my laid back friends
who can ignore the mess and engage their children in an activity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love my ultra-organized friends who can run
6 children to many different activities and not get flustered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love my patient friends who are phenomenal
listeners and can drop everything to talk with their children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love my fun friends who can turn a normal
day into a super cool spontaneous adventure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I love knowing that I am not them and that is okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are not me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all get to bring who we are to the table.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Personality absolutely spills over in how we choose to
manage our children’s behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all
have different perspectives and priorities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I do STRONGLY believe there are traits and skills every parent should
strive to develop and demonstrate:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>love,
kindness, patience, gentleness, consistency, to name just a few.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also believe we can strive to emulate the
best in one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every so often, I
do something spontaneous with my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Occasionally, I manage to ignore the mess and let them take over my
kitchen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But every single day, no matter
what, I do my very best to love them the best I can.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lesson #2:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are parenting different children.<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While this sounds like a “no-brainer”, it was a hard one for
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent years beating myself up
because my children wouldn’t behave just like our friend’s children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had one dear friend in Ohio who would line
up her 5 children on the bench at Church where they would politely (and
quietly) sit and color for the entire meeting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That has NEVER happened on our bench.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t have those kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t
make my kids that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And most importantly,
God doesn’t expect me to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I truly
believe that God sends our unique children to us for a reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has sent me a whole batch of smart,
dynamic, emotional, strong, and LOUD children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t know why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do know that
it isn’t easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My kids are challenging,
but they are mine and I love them with everything I’ve got.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
I have had a lot of painful parenting experiences dealing
with this lesson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(We’ve had a couple
just recently at Church.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every so often
we will encounter an adult who has never had to deal with a child like
ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those adults are often critical
and impatient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have watched them blame
my children and I have felt their judgment towards us as parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It hurts and it isn’t fair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve shed many, many tears over the things I
have had said to me about my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
kids aren’t broken or bad because they are passionate and intense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Likewise, your kids are broken or bad because
they’re quiet or shy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God sent us
different kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><u>On purpose.</u><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We all should feel confident making our parenting decisions
based on the unique needs of our children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have developed deep respect for several families who have chosen to
home-school their children because they were inspired to know that it was the
right thing for their children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Doug and
I spend many hours seeking out specific coaches, teachers, and mentors who we
feel will understand our children and show them the love they deserve--even on
their most difficult days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No one can know what it is like to be me, dealing with the
children I have every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Conversely, I
can never know what it is like to be you…in your home with your children. What
we can do is seek to love and accept one another’s children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to recognize that each of our
children is a child of God on their own personal journey of growth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are in different places learning
different lessons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I taught middle
school, I dealt with over 200 adolescents every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before each day began, I took a moment to
stop and reflect that every child who walked through my door was a beloved child
of God—the happy ones, the angry ones, the disobedient ones, the helpful ones, the
disorganized ones—every one of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
they all deserved to feel His love through me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
It is lesson I try to continue to live each day.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-15759704251632697832013-09-08T22:23:00.001-04:002013-09-08T22:23:53.969-04:00In Absentia
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve been out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sorry about that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first few
months of pregnancy are pretty rough for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There has been nothing extra done at my house in a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, we are lucky if the essentials are
addressed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Please don’t ask when the
last time was my kitchen floor was mopped!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I felt really bad about not blogging for so long and then I noticed that
a professional blogger I occasionally read hasn’t blogged in for a month or
two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s also pregnant.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have gotten lots of questions about this pregnancy, so
here are some answers…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Was this a surprise?<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The snarky answer I sometimes feel like giving goes
something like this:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Well, I’m a
biology teacher and my husband is a doctor--we’ve got a pretty good grasp on
what causes pregnancy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Especially since
we already have four children.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think
it is probably safe to assume that this was planned.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The real answer is that we thought and prayed about this
for years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We knew 5 years ago that it
was time to take a REAL break from having children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had four children ages 6 and under and
Doug had 6 more years of medical training.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We were financially, spiritually, physically, and emotionally
exhausted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We felt strongly prompted to
focus on the unique (and sometimes incredibly demanding) needs of the children
already in our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Things have changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are in a different place financially, spiritually, physically,
emotionally, and educationally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
this baby is born, Doug will have 5 months left of training.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our children are in different places in their
growth and development.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We felt very
strongly that we needed to be open to having another child if that was what our
Heavenly Father wanted for our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We believe in families and we believe He will guide our lives if we were
willing to submit to His will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So this
was not a surprise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, I will admit
to being surprised I got pregnant so quickly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How are you feeling?<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not so great, but that is normal “pregnant” for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kind of hate to talk about it because I
know there are people out there who have it MUCH worse. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had moderate morning sickness until about
16 weeks and had to use several medications to keep myself functional during
that time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m still trying to get off all of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The nausea is gone, but I have back problems
and tachycardia to keep me uncomfortable now. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m still completely exhausted and will remain so for the
rest of the pregnancy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a huge
blessing that my other children are in school and I can get some rest each day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is probably the biggest challenge for me
since I am normally such a high energy person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I get frustrated at how little I can do in a day and then I start to
feel overwhelmed and discouraged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thankfully, I am married to an incredible man who is good at reminding
me of what matters most!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<u><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Are your kids excited?<o:p></o:p></span></u><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">They are super excited!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They each had a unique reaction to the news and they each have unique
ways of showing their anticipation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
think I am most excited to have this baby for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were so close in age to one another that
they never got to truly enjoy and experience a baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><br />
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<u><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Can you safely have 5 C-sections?<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The doctor
who delivered #3 and #4 said there was very little scarring and we’d be fine to
have another if we so desired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> My doctors now don't seem concerned.</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<u><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What do people say when you tell them you are having a
5<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> child?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially in the
South?!?</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m sure plenty of them think I we are crazy and maybe
they say so behind our backs, but I have yet to hear an unkind word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of my friends right now are not members
of our Church, but they have a great deal of respect for the fact that we are
trying to do what we feel God wants us to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A few have expressed that they wish they had been able to have more
children or had done so when they were younger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mostly my friends and acquaintances are thoughtful and considerate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many strangers express delight that we are
being “so blessed”! <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will leave it there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I do feel blessed—crummy, but blessed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We’ll have another 4 ½ months of a not-so-clean house, random meals, and
barely keeping it together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, at the
end of it all there will be a new little person to love and it’s more than
worth it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-82509977826169950762013-05-11T00:21:00.000-04:002013-05-11T00:21:09.037-04:00BurdensI feel somewhat bad that I haven't taken time to write in a few months. I'm disappointed that I haven't done a better job of following through with my goal of blogging. The reality is that I haven't had much time or much heart for anything but getting through life day by day. <br />
<br />
It has been a long school year for our family. Sometimes we get to this point in the year and I feel like we just started...I can't believe it is almost time to move on. Not this year. I look at pictures from a few months ago and I can hardly remember what happened. I feel as if we have struggled our way through one day at a time. I'm exhausted. Fully spent.<br />
<br />
I've always been a hard worker. I've always been efficient. I've had many people express their amazement at how I can "make things happen" and "get things done". But even I am amazed at what I managed to do this school year--Be the wife of a medical resident, mother four children, PTA President, 20 piano students, substitute teach 2-3 days a week, care for our home, help friends, coach a Science Olympiad team, play for the school choir, and so much more. I realize that I've had a lot of sustaining help from angels--heavenly and earthly--this year. I really couldn't have done it alone. I couldn't have done it at all.<br />
<br />
I also realize there are a lot of things I haven't done. There are opportunities and experiences I have missed because I have been so busy. (Or so exhausted from all my work that I had no desire left to do much of anything.) I have done a horrible job on my Church service which has left me carrying a huge load of guilt and frustration. I haven't read to my kids at night. I haven't practiced instruments with them. My house is messy. I forgot to color the milk green on St. Patrick's Day.<br />
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I'm filled with both pride over what I have accomplished and grief for opportunities lost. BUT, the reality is that I know I was supposed to carry this heavy load. It was my burden for this time.<br />
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It was the right thing for me to be the PTA President. I know that I have been blessed to help support our family by teaching piano lessons for the past 12 years. There are experiences my own children could not have had if I hadn't sacrificed my time with them to teach others. I also know that it was very important for me to substitute at the elementary school. I have needed that experience to help me answer some personal questions, make valuable friends, and gain much needed insight.<br />
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And in just the same way I knew I was supposed to pick all these things up, I know it is now time to set them down. I feel strongly inspired to pull in and reset. I need to re-center my life on my home and my children. There are people and activities I will miss about my crazy life, but I have an overwhelming sense of peace when I think about simplifying and slowing down. The burdens are no longer mine to carry.<br />
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<br />justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-90520665411823848052013-03-03T22:21:00.001-05:002013-03-03T22:21:57.661-05:00A Winter of Discontent
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This year I can’t wait to see winter go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I make a real effort to not wish away seasons
of life, but I’m ready to move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>By necessity, I spent much of this winter “in my head”…wrestling with
questions and concerns about our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe
some of the insights I’ve gained I’ll share.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Some of it is still too tender and fresh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel as if I have been trapped in a cocoon
and now I am aching to be set free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I want sunshine. </span>I
want flowers, leaves, and blossoms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I want to put on my flip-flops and a t-shirt and step outside into the warm Southern air. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want signs
everywhere that cold, dark, confusing times end and spring comes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-24537582977536939602013-02-08T22:54:00.004-05:002013-02-08T22:54:54.418-05:00Perspective<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">In the past two months we have been right with our dear friends for two very important moments. We were at their home when their husband & father had to be rushed to the hospital. That night we prayed that his time on this earth would not end. Then tonight at 8:00 p.m., five weeks early and completely out of the blue, they called to see if we could watch their children She had unexpectedly gone into labor. Tonight we pray for the little life that will soon begin on this earth. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It has been a rough month for me internally. We have a lot of decisions to make. I've been struggling to make sense of it all. But in reflecting with our dear friends, I'm remembering that there are things that matter and there are things that MATTER. My perspective has changed. And that is a good thing.</span>justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-66102044270242982632013-01-20T22:09:00.000-05:002013-01-20T22:09:04.738-05:00Simple Gifts<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> love to give gifts. Not big and expensive gifts, but thoughtful and timely gifts. I like to remember the little details about people that can turn into a fun gift later--a teachers' favorite soda, a friends' secret weakness for fruit snacks, a sisters' wish for something beautiful. I love the reaction of a loved one when they receive an unexpected, but "just right" gift. I love letting people know that they are remembered and appreciated.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The night before my kids went back to school after Christmas vacation, I knew I wanted to send a gift to their teachers. We are so blessed to have great teachers who love and appreciate my brilliant, yet quirky children. It has been a hard year to be a teacher at our elementary school. There have been a lot of unforeseen personal challenges within the faculty and switching to Common Core has left everyone feeling like a first year teacher all over again. I just wanted to wish them well...but with what? It was way too late to start homemade bread and I was almost out of Bath and Body Works Foaming Antibacterial Soap (gasp!).</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUaYoZFexDXuKtLltSVOp2EMxizQqLZVeEuG2ySyIIAwmWTPsMBZyVA4HSo2CvF9zha7PYYqwnOT6tJMNJg-mpFXbBhCkBHZMehaiRZ-tSUrdEdtGRDc93_9WsI8aUg11uHd5qq4ognoCp/s1600/DSC_0016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUaYoZFexDXuKtLltSVOp2EMxizQqLZVeEuG2ySyIIAwmWTPsMBZyVA4HSo2CvF9zha7PYYqwnOT6tJMNJg-mpFXbBhCkBHZMehaiRZ-tSUrdEdtGRDc93_9WsI8aUg11uHd5qq4ognoCp/s400/DSC_0016.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I decided to visit my Pinterest boards to see if there was anything I could do with what I had on hand late on a Sunday night. I had to do some creative adhesive substitutions and teach myself how to make a fabric flower, but within two hours, I had these sweet little bookmarks all ready to go. I promised my sister I would include the link if you want to make a bookmark of your own:</span><br />
<a href="http://ourdailychocolate.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-to-tuesday-fabric-bookmark.html"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">http://ourdailychocolate.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-to-tuesday-fabric-bookmark.html</span></a>justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-82707785806505364582013-01-20T21:35:00.000-05:002013-01-20T21:35:27.495-05:00Snow Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Friday was a snow day. School was cancelled. We just stayed in. All for about 1 inch of very slushy wet snow. By noon it was already well into the 40's and any evidence of a storm was mostly gone at our house. It was a beautiful sunny day. I commented to Doug how I had been entertained by the reaction of several "newbies" to the state who thought it was crazy for school to be cancelled for such a minor "snow event". Doug's reply surprised me...</span><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You see, four winters ago, we made similar comments. We both grew up in a snowy mountain valley and I don't remember school ever being cancelled for snow. We had shovels, snow blowers, ice-scrapers, and snow tires. Every family member had snow clothes. Part of learning how to drive was learning to drive through snow. It wasn't so different when we lived in the Midwest. BUT, our first winter in the South, we thought it was absolutely ridiculous for them to be so cautious about every <u>little </u>snow storm. Delays, cancellations, warnings, and advisories abound.</span></em><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Doug turned to me and said "I think it was probably a good call." He said that the longer he lives here, the more he realizes that there is wisdom in their caution. "There is no infrastructure to manage the snow," he said. "We aren't well-equipped." He's right, of course. There are very few plows. Most households don't have shovels, ice scrapers, and snow clothes. And don't get me started on Southerners driving on snow packed roads. It's terrifying.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It made me think a little bit about how I react when there are other types of storms in my life...when something hard or challenging comes my way. I tend to just plow on through life and not let things slow me down. I throw on my theoretical "snow clothes", grab a shovel, and deal with it. This method has mostly served me well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But, I'm learning that there are times and circumstances that facing the challenge head on isn't the wisest thing to do. Perhaps the wise person is the one who recognizes when they aren't equipped to deal with a particular demand or challenge and they choose to take a "snow day". They pull inside, spend some time with their family, and wait for some of the drama to melt away. Looking back, I can see times when I actually made things much harder for myself and my family by acting too quickly. I dealt with storms that if I had simply waited patiently, I wouldn't have had to deal with at all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">"There is wisdom in caution." Nicely said Doug. Perhaps I will get better at taking snow days.</span>justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-80909498081547538772013-01-12T23:54:00.000-05:002013-01-12T23:54:31.784-05:00An Award...Already?!?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwjkf4L8HwXgFNhrenUxfxsQABxvdmY-tVYJsHXq3ZIWk8rqpRqdaEEaiWEbQhyphenhyphenGqMXuUKo6yn1PNeTwcCNXKGWFrWUCPvlASV9pT_HYz6rN822iTAzgmQyyYyxPpW0q10tQrTBvJSMcL_/s1600/01-09-12_liebster-blog-award.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwjkf4L8HwXgFNhrenUxfxsQABxvdmY-tVYJsHXq3ZIWk8rqpRqdaEEaiWEbQhyphenhyphenGqMXuUKo6yn1PNeTwcCNXKGWFrWUCPvlASV9pT_HYz6rN822iTAzgmQyyYyxPpW0q10tQrTBvJSMcL_/s1600/01-09-12_liebster-blog-award.jpg" /></a></div>
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My sweet friend, Heidi, gave me a nice pat on the back for my new efforts at blogging. She gave me a "Liebster"Award". It is an award passed from blogger to blogger to say, "I love your blog! Keep it up!". I hardly feel deserving after only two posts, but it is great encouragement for me to keep working at my goal of blogging my thoughts this year. </div>
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As part of this award I am supposed to share 11 random facts about myself and answer 11 questions of Heidi's choosing. So here goes:</div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><u><strong>11 Random Facts about Me:</strong></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I don't have a favorite color.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I read a lot of books, but I don't retain all the details. (I figure it is a plus, since I can re-read books and enjoy them a second time.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I am a hard worker.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I am always behind on my ironing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I don't enjoy cooking with my kids. It stresses me out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I got a degree in Biology Composite Teaching and taught middle school for 3 years. I really loved being a teacher.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I'm terrified of cockroaches and head lice, both of which I've had to face in the last year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I love drinks with bubbles, like sparkling juice and soda pop.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My husband is my best friend and has been since the 11th grade.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I almost died having my first baby and I woke up in the ICU.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I'm a funny mix of extrovert and introvert.</span></div>
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<u><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">11 Questions from Heidi:</span></strong></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">1. When was the last time you brushed your teeth? </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia; font-size: medium;">This morning when I woke up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">2. How many days per week do you make your bed?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: purple;">SEVEN. It was a COMMANDMENT in my house growing up. If you left for school without making your bed, you ran the risk of Mom showing up to take you home to make it.</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">3. What does the last text you received say?</span><br />
<span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia; font-size: medium;">"Yep. I'd like one box of thin mints." (#2 is selling Girl Scout cookies for the first time ever.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">4. If you could do anything you wanted for a day, what would that be? <span style="color: purple;">I would want to take my kids skiing. It is something I loved growing up and I would love to share that with them. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">5. Are most of your friends real or virtual? <span style="color: purple;">Real. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">6. With how many adults have you spoken in person today?</span><br />
<span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia; font-size: medium;">Lots! I went to a magnet school fair with #1 today to check out middle schools and saw a lot of people I knew. We also had our best friends over for dinner, so I got in some good talking.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">7. What did you have for lunch (or your last meal) today? <span style="color: purple;">Dinner was a breakfast feast of pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, fried potatoes, fresh fruit, homemade syrup, whipped cream, and orange juice.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">8. If you could go to lunch with anyone, with whom would you dine? <span style="color: purple;"> My big sisters. And hopefully we could go to a museum or quilt store after we ate.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">9. Are you hungry yet? Or craving grown-up conversation? <span style="color: purple;">I'm still full from dinner and it's getting late, so I'm craving sleep.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">10. If your toenails are painted, what color are they? <span style="color: purple;">You can tell I'm struggling if my toenails aren't "done". Right now I have some red glitter toes going on. (Technically they are vinyl nail shields, not paint.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: medium;">11. What's your favorite Gavin story? <span style="color: purple;">I'm sad that I have never met Gavin (Heidi's son), but I do remember Zach when he was young!</span></span></div>
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You can see Heidi's post about the "Liebster Award" here on her blog:</div>
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<a href="http://bartlebulletin.blogspot.com/2013/01/liebster.html">http://bartlebulletin.blogspot.com/2013/01/liebster.html</a></div>
justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-78282385054531518792013-01-03T11:15:00.000-05:002013-01-03T11:15:50.299-05:00BEST
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I couldn’t fall asleep last night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is a rare occurrence for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I usually lay my head on the pillow around 11
p.m. and I’m asleep within seconds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet
at 1 a.m. I still had too many thoughts in my head and too many feelings in my
heart for sleep to come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The problem is a new year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The problem is looking forward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The problem is in the possibilities, plans, and changes 2013 will
bring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The problem is that I don’t have
a plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I HATE not having a plan<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Where
should we look for work?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where should #1
go to middle school?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should #4 start
school?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should I keep working as much as
I am?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should I get a different job?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I shouldn’t be working at all and
instead focus on something else?)</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And the problem is I’m sad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I miss my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of my
friends are going through big changes and challenges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes when I take the Christmas
decorations down it feels clean and refreshing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This year it made me feel like my home was darker and sterile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
sick and in a daze for weeks and I’m waking up to a life that feels overwhelming
and unfamiliar. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And busy—very busy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Years ago there was a Church talk that focused on the
concept of choosing between what is good, what is better, and what is BEST.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I lay in bed for hours last night, trying
to distract myself with a harmless, entertaining TV show, I realized at the
root of it all I just want to be able to discern what is <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BEST</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think good choices
are easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I fill our days with
good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Swimming, piano lessons,
volunteering, cub scouts, girl scouts, family game night, orchestra, violin, date
night, book club, making a quilt, visits with friends, art class, teaching,
helping, cooking, movies, choir, fun, yard work, cleaning the house, going to
Church…but when you are so full of good, sometimes there is no room for better
or best.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Better choices require thought and sacrifice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Giving up a “good” experience for your child
for the “better” time together as a family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Giving up the “good” housework for the “better” service opportunity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think in the past five years or so that I
have gotten better at “better”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I am more thoughtful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try to be more prayerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have more confidence to not do what
everyone else is doing if it isn’t right for our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But BEST is out there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I slipped to my knees about 1:15 and started to pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will you help me find what is BEST?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will you help me be humble enough to act?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
immediately felt some peace and I climbed back into bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the last thought I had as I went to sleep
was that BEST might not be easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BEST
may look a lot different than better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>BEST may not be what I want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BEST
may require heart-breaking sacrifice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But,
it will be BEST.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that regard, I hope
2013 is my BEST year yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3174569976735011871.post-258858788534978602013-01-01T13:16:00.000-05:002013-01-01T13:16:02.175-05:00Since we can't talk...
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am not much of a writer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I have thoughts to share, I like to talk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a verbal communicator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cherish long hours of good conversation with
friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lengthy phone calls, late-night
book clubs, and impromptu visits are some of my favorite things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even my profession of choice, teaching, is
dependent on my capability as a verbal communicator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I have something I want to share with
the world, I daydream about a classroom setting where I can connect and
communicate with people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am a reader.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
cherish the well-crafted words of others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As my circle of friends has widened geographically, I have taken to reading
my friends blogs for a chance to share in their thoughts and ideas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Although, I would much rather have the time
and opportunity to sit in their kitchen and talk.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is in reciprocation to their efforts that
I have committed to blog for one year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It isn’t a classroom and I am most assuredly not in my element, but this
year I will try to share my thoughts and ideas on this blog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To glean is to learn, discover, or find out--usually little
by little or slowly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Joy is my purpose
in living.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not happiness, but deep,
abiding joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My journey through life has
been discovering that true joy little by little.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The joy I believe my Heavenly Father intends
me to have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps you may glean some
here as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Happy New Year!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
justbeckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02782464868606580816noreply@blogger.com8